Pasadena Senior Center Helped Me Through Major Changes and Transitions

GUEST OPINION

Charmaine Nelson and her late father (Photo – Author)

Working at Pasadena Senior Center for seven years has helped me through major changes and transitions.

By Charmaine Nelson

I landed in Pasadena after spending 10 years in West Africa.  I had helped to build a school in Liberia where most people are severely lacking in basic needs like food, shelter and clean drinking water. The transition from working in abject poverty to being surrounded by million-dollar homes was incredibly jarring. With the help of my church and my friends, I found the Pasadena Senior Center where I am the Director of Marking and Communications.

Soon after I began working at the Center, my 90-year-old father needed my help.  He had been living independently and driving, but he had emergency gall bladder surgery and cataract surgery in the same year. He needed around-the-clock care. This was my transition into caregiving and my first opportunity to use the services at the Center.

How do I care
for someone
who had always
cared for me?

My husband and I moved in with my dad and my journey of daily caregiving began. My father had so many issues, and I had so many questions. How do I care for someone who had always cared for me? How do I care for my dad and preserve his dignity? How do I care for myself? I took the Savvy Caregivers class at the Center. I learned that I was not alone, and I found the help and support that I needed.

Thankfully, my dad recovered from both surgeries, but he faced new challenges. He had always been a very social person. He loved being around people and making new friends. Now he was trapped in the house all day and his world was getting smaller. Like so many other older adults in his situation, he was facing social isolation.

Home away from home

I started bringing my dad to work. He joined our lunch program where he met new friends. He loved sitting in the lounge sharing his favorite stories and sayings. He was so popular that people would ask about him on days that he didn’t come. This was his home away from home. Everyone loved him including the staff. It gave me great joy to see him so happy.

After a few years, my dad’s health took a turn for the worse and my role changed again. I needed help and support, and the Center came to the rescue. I joined the Caregivers support group and there I listened to other people and shared my own challenges. It was just what I needed to help my dad through his final days.

Now that my dad is gone, I am struggling with grief. I miss him terribly. My home feels empty and it is difficult coming to work knowing that he will not be there with his friends.

Rediscovering hope

Once again, the Pasadena Senior Center is providing the support I need. I joined a grief support group that meets every Thursday, “Rediscovering Hope.” Slowly my sadness and loss is lifting and I am finding purpose again.

I am so proud and thankful to work for an organization that provides so much help and support to older adults and their families. Please contact us if you or a loved one needs help.

Charmaine Nelson is the Director of Marketing, Communications and Board Liason at Pasadena Senior Center.