Project Hail Mary (Photo – Amazon/MGM Studios)
“In space, no one can hear you scream.”
Project Hail Mary
Directed by Phil Lord, Christopher Miller – 2026
Reviewed by Garrett Rowlan
It’s been some 50 years but I still recall the tagline for Ridley Scott’s 1979 sci-fi film, Alien.
But if you’re watching Project Hail Mary, starring Ryan Gosling, your scream of boredom might echo across the cosmos.
Based on a bestseller by Andy Weir, the film has a promising beginning. Gosling’s character wakes in space, not knowing how he got there, but those first ten minutes soon give way to improbable or ludicrous elements, neither of which is helped by constant flashbacks. While these explain, or overexplain, how Gosling got to where he is, one gets the feeling of a wrench tossed into whatever interest the narrative is building.
The plot pits Earth against interstellar, light-gobbling bacteria that threaten to weaken the sun’s glow and plunge the world into darkness. Gosling is sent to a star far beyond our galaxy to fix the problem. He meets a faceless, cushion-bodied, six-legged creature from another realm that has the same issue, the virus is threatening its sun, and thus they team up to form one of the silliest buddy movies ever.
“Faceless are overrated,” Gosling says upon meeting his sheer-visaged companion. Well, maybe in deep space, but not at the movies. “Rocky,” as Gosling dubs the thing because of its flinty appearance, is meant to be cute with its gyrations and fractured syntax, but I’ve never found a spider’s shape attractive, much less a large, tarantula-looking thing without a face. The jokes are feeble, the “chemistry” feels fake (despite Gosling’s crying to document his brotherly feelings), and their banter won’t make anyone forget any great movie duo you can name.
This setup might have worked in the book, which I haven’t read, where the reader isn’t stuck having to look at a scuttling rock/spider for two hours.
I liked The Martian, a film based on a previous Andy Weir novel, but that dealt with a real, or potentially real, problem: how to survive on Mars, rather than Project Hail Mary with its improbable setup, pseudo-scientific verbiage, and irritating flashbacks. As for Rocky, the film’s co-star, the investors would have done well to recall what Gloria Swanson said in Sunset Boulevard:
“We had faces.”
> Playing at Landmark Pasadena Playhouse, Regency Academy Cinemas, Regal Paseo, iPic Theatres, Regal Edwards Alhambra Renaissance, AMC Montebello 10, AMC Santa Anita 16, and LOOK Dine-In Cinemas Glendale.
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