“Love in the Time of Hate: Diary of a Participant Observer”
by Susana Porras
“Love in the Time of Hate” documents the thoughts and actions of two people in love, living almost unfazed in a world of hate.
Reviewed by Sharon Hawley
Susana Porras opens by saying, “I came out of a 25-year relationship with someone who was rarely close.” And of her current love interest, she says, “We had known each other for two years.” His name is never mentioned, he is simply “sweetheart,” which she clearly believes he is.
They quickly become so passionate with each other that I expect something to go wrong. “The bad news is there,” she says, “but I’m not getting involved.”
She quotes morbid news headlines, but that’s as close as she gets to the hate. She doesn’t dwell on it, turning instead toward love. The book is a diary, as the title suggests, but it’s much more.
The back cover describes it as a story about “love between an introverted writer [Susana] and an extroverted bookstore owner.” Yet after reading the book and looking at her bio, I wouldn’t call her introverted. In real life, she’s involved in community service and works as Program Coordinator for the Special Operations Division of the Pasadena Police Department.
As for her love interest, I find him outgoing and maybe more gregarious than she, but it’s not the major difference between them that the back cover proclaims.
Format of the Book
As the title implies, the book is a series of personal diary entries, covering October 1 through December 16, 2024, with entries nearly every day. She calls it a diary, and it is, but again, it’s more than that.
Each entry begins with a headline, typically about dirty politics, war, or the disregard for human life. But she never elaborates. She doesn’t need to. The headlines serve as grim context, against which she asserts her focus on love. She has other pleasures on her mind, ones that blot out the hate.
She usually follows the headlines with quotes from their text messages, sometimes in English, often in Spanish (always translated). Each entry concludes with a passionate description of a day with her love interest.
The book is the length of a novella, Susana even says so. But while novellas are usually fictional, this reads like a true diary. Everything about it feels authentic. She doesn’t say that it’s all true, but why should she; her voice is authentic autobiography all the way through.
Like her other books, this one feels rooted in nonfiction experience. She’s previously published:
- To Compostela and Beyond: A Poet’s Chronicle of the Camino de Santiago (2021)
- Danny’s Trail: Mossley, England (2025)
Heart of the Book
“When you are in love, objectivity disappears and bias sets in. The object of your affection is the most funny, most loving person you know. He can do nothing wrong. You constantly think about him. You want to be with him all the time. The sky can be falling, but you are in love and all is right with the world.”
She asks: Why do so many people fall out of love? Her answer—because the novelty wears off. She won’t let that happen. “The persona I had been assembling through my wardrobe and demeanor made me come across as proper and perhaps stuffy. Not introverted, but less of an extravert than you.”
Together they dated in restaurants great and small. The greatest may have been “among the columns and arches of the Millenium Biltmore in Los Angeles, chandeliers of the gilded age, you ordered a rye Manhattan and a sidecar for me.”
In a modest café, “a dinner date in a strapless summer dress, there is something about the way you make me feel that makes me want to look beautiful for you. I could tell by your smiling eyes that you had something on your mind, but I left it to you to you whenever you were ready to share.”
“I love to use flowery language, because I want to remember details about special moments. You had the same beautiful smile, contagious laugh, and love of life, since the moment we met. You could not have been more of a gentleman in your conduct and appearance. Your efforts to look nice for me.”
“You handled the situation with your cool demeanor and sense of maturity. I remember details of our encounters. Andre Bocelli’s “Por ti Volare.” You taught me that love and romance still exist. And when you arrived home, you put fingertips to screen and texted me.”
“Te quiero mucho = I love you very much. My tough morning called for a sympathetic ear, and you were there. I wrote longhand. It wasn’t an ordinary legal pad. It was my creative space. A place where my thoughts come to life, my life documented. You are a writer too, and the fact that you chose me to share your gift with speaks volumes.”
“I was late to be your first love, but just in time to be your last. What would happen if I were gone. I could give you my diary.”
“We make a good couple, I feel like your leading lady. You love me and your kisses slide into my diary. Perhaps they are a tunnel of escape from the world around me and into the intimacy I enjoy. Of all the women, you have chosen me, perhaps because you too need to escape the hate.”
“We loved hiking together. The Cob Estate Trail in Altadena. And I really did walk that 478-mile track in Portugal in Spain. I love our runs together at the Rose Bowl.”
Lover’s Spat
“I had gotten upset with you the previous evening. I know that you want me to be ok right away, but I don’t work that way. The person I was seeing was not the person I fell in love with. I couldn’t stop myself from being hurt. Loss of trust. At dinner tonight I was reintroduced to you.”
They had an occasional lover’s spat, but they readily resolve it and went on loving.
Intimacy
“You reserved a charming bedroom suite for us. We propped up the pillows, grabbed the blanket and I melted into your arms. You gazed deep into me, held me to keep me warm, kissed my hand and caressed my cheek. You kissed my soul before your lips touched mine. I hadn’t packed a change of clothes.”
This is the closest Susana comes to describing intimacy. The book is a love story, but don’t read it if you’re looking for climax with vivid descriptions. If you want his eyes on you and his thoughts streaming toward you, then this is a good book for you. If you want to dress up for him and have him take you to an elegant restaurant where you feel that a perfect gentleman really likes you, then this is your book. We dress and we do whatever it takes to induce his favor, especially in times of hate, it becomes our passion, our escape, and our remedy.
Conclusion
Susana says in conclusion, “I never imagined these 85 pages would encompass a beginning, middle, and end. It’s the length of a novella. The Cinderella archetype.”
The final kissing scene of this soap opera presumes that they live on happily. The book ends with the familiar statement. They lived happily ever after.
My evaluation of the book
Maybe our loves become more passionate because of the hate around us. Maybe we can be better lovers because of the hate.
Susana shows a contrast between the hate all around us and the love that she finds possible. She shows that love overrides hate, and the better we love the better we are at dealing with hate. It’s about therapy for troubled times.
The book is even more poignant in 2025 than when she wrote it in 2024. It shows a way of dealing with the decline of decency that’s going on in this country and she shows it, not directly, but sideways, by way of attachment to just one person who really matters. It’s a way of coping even as we’re surrounded by hate. We need a refuge and this book provides a way. Not everyone will find this method their own, but it works for Susana, and her example might just work for some of us, too.
Love in the Time of Hate Diary of a Participant Observer by Susana Porras Language : English 82 pages - 5.5 x 0.19 x 8.5 inches
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